One more step to take before advocating to a decision-maker is to start from a place of empathy, trust and goodwill. This means that you develop your advocacy message with the assumption that both you and the decision-maker are trying to understand each other in good faith and with empathy.
Sometimes, we make assumptions about decision-makers’ intentions, because they often have more power, or because we view them as causing a problem. It’s natural to assume that decision-makers don’t care or haven’t taken the time to understand the impact of their decisions. This is usually not true.
It’s important to understand that decision-makers are dealing with their own challenges, needs, frustrations and competing priorities.
If you start by from a place of good faith and empathy, you can approach the conversation as a collaborative one: how can you work together to resolve a problem you both care about? This approach will usually get you a lot further than if you assume the decision-maker is working against you.
To be clear, this is not about giving someone a pass if they are treating you poorly, discriminating against you or creating barriers for you. Often, a decision-maker’s actions that have a negative impact are unintentional. If you assume their intentions are bad without considering their point of view and extending some goodwill, then you are likely going to be less effective when you start to advocate.
Start by considering these questions:
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How do they view the situation? Are they already aware of the issue that you’re facing? Do they understand the history?
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What is their understanding of the problem? Do they agree that there is a problem? Would they explain the problem the same way as you?
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Do they have any proposed solutions? If they are already aware of the problem, have they suggested any solutions already? If their ideas are different from yours, why do they see their solutions to be the best ones?
This is just a starting point. If you start with this empathetic, collaborative approach and the decision-maker is not receptive, then you may need to alter your approach. This will likely mean needing to be more assertive, which we cover in the next section.
